Vagong Salta Vol.2: Without Preservativos

8 Jul

by Anna Mae Tolentino

As they say, many words in Tagalog are derived from Spanish. Well, not all Filipinos will agree to this especially to those who have just recently arrived in Spain and don’t have any idea of the Spanish language.

Here’s a proof to that…Some bloopers shared by a Filipina who worked as a household staff upon her arrival a year ago.

Magdalena

Señora calls and asks if she has to buy some magdalenas. Filipina tells her that she is not Magdalena. As it happens, Magdalena, from Bolivia is another staff that they have. So, Filipina hangs up the phone. Señora calls again and asks the same question. Filipina with an irritated voice tells her that she can give Magdalena’s phone number if she likes. Señora insisted on checking if they still have any magdalenas. Filipina is getting pissed because Señora is being such a pain in the neck calling her every now and then.  She still has lot of work to do and has to finish before lunch time as it’s her afternoon off! Señora tries to explain or describe the magdalena but with no success. After 30 minutes Señora arrives and shows the magdalenas. Filipina realizes that magdalena being a name also means cupcake.

Mamon. It may look and taste good but its Spanish translation doesn’t sound so well.

Tablet/Pill

Filipina starts sneezing and coughing. She has slight fever and feels weak due to the cold weather. Señora is so worried as she has 2 young children. Señora hurriedly goes to the pharmacy to buy some medicine and gives them to her. She then tells Filipina to have some rest. The following day, Señora asks Filipina if she has taken the pill. Filipina turned tomato red and strongly denied..thinking…How can Señora ask me this? She knows that I’m married and have an 8-year-old daughter in the Philippines.  Señora tells her that she has to take the pill. Filipina refuses and says: No Señora!…No!… Señora wants to insist again and one of her daughters comes running and explains something to her mother.  Mama, in the Philippines they normally call it tablet, pill refers to contraceptive.

As you know, most Spanish people are being taught British English so it means British vocabulary.

Preservative in Spanish?

Señora wants to teach Filipina how to prepare some Spanish cuisine. As Señora is a health buff, all the ingredients must be fresh and organic. Señora is so eager in teaching Filipina how to make tortilla de patatas , lentejas ,crema de calabacin.  After hours of preparation, Señora asks Filipina to taste them and asks her if she liked them. Filipina wants to impress Señora and says: ¡Muy Buena! (Really good).  Well, Filipina has learned important words to impress her employer. The Spanish language is not that difficult to learn after all! Then Filipina adds: ¡Me gusta mucho porque no hay preservativos!

Translation: I like it very much because it doesn’t have any condom.

Preservative in Spanish is conservante.

Of course, Señora was so shocked upon hearing the phrase.

Puto is already a classic. A Spanish girl went to the Philippines and then one day she was awaken and was also shocked by someone selling puto early in the morning.

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